After 5 Hours Sitting in the Bar

After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive,
wisely left his car parked and walked home.

As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.

Officer Askes:- What are you doing out here at 2 am..???
The Man Said:- I’m going to a lecture….!!!

And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?”, the cop asked.
“My wife!!!” said the man

Bar Funny Joke

This guy was staggering along the road, much the worse for the drink,
throwing empty beer cans into the street and falling into peoples gardens.

His singing gained the attention of a passing policeman who decided to question him.

“What do you think you’re doing there?” the policeman asked.
“I’m on my works outing” came the slurred reply.
“Then” the policeman queried, “where are all the others?”
“Ah” the man grinned, “You see officer, I’m self employed!”

Three Guys are Drinking in a Bar

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points to the guy in the middle, shouting, “Your Mom’s the best lay in town!” Everyone expects a fight but the guy ignores him and the drunk wanders up to the end of the bar.

Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points to the same guy, and says, “I just screwed your mom and it was really sw-e-et!” Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk wanders off.

Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, “Your mom even let me….”

Finally the guy interrupts, “Go home, Dad—you’re drunk again!”

An Angry Wife Funny Joke

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending
all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him.
“What’ll you have?” he asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. The same as you I suppose,” she replied.

So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel’s and threw his down in one shot.
His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.

“Yuck, that’s TERRIBLE!” she spluttered. “I don’t know how you can drink this stuff!”

“Well, there you go,” cried the husband. “And you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!”

Pregnant Women Funny Joke

Three women were sitting in a bar,
(burnette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant.
The burnette says, “I know what I’m going to have.”

The other to asked how…???
She replied, “Well I was on top when I concieved so I will have a baby boy”.

The red head said, “If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl
because I was on the bottom when I concieved. The blonde starts crying and
orders another shot and starts screaming, “PUPPIES, PUPPIES!”.